WHAT IS BULLYING?

What is Bullying?

parents book on bulling

Bullying hurts. It can scar a child for a lifetime, affect relationships with others and destroy his or her view of themselves.

As a parent it is extremely stressful to find that your child is being bullied. Our role as a parent is to protect, nourish and ultimately to release our children as young adults into society, where they make a positive impact. Bullying has no part to play in this scenario.

Bullying is an action where everyone involved becomes less. The target of the bully and those who are forced to stand by and witness the incident feel helpless and powerless. The bullied child can feel the situation is hopeless and that they are useless and even worthless as individuals. If the bully becomes entrenched in his or her behaviour they are less able to develop healthy relationships, will lack the ability to feel empathy for their targets, and can grow up to bully in adult relationships such as a marriage or work environment. They may even move on to criminal behaviour. A high percentage of inmates in jails were bullies on the school ground.

Teasing is not bullying.
Taunting is.
Teasing is a give and take
between equals that allows
both parties to explore
limits within a peer
relationship. Teasing
respects the individual's
dignity and allows for
laughter on both sides.

Taunting means to harm.
The words are chosen to
humiliate and demean
or embarrass. Taunting
continues after one
individual in the
conversation expresses
distress.

Bullying is as destructive to the bully as it is to the person being bullied. Although it is very hard to pin down and exact number, about 35% of children say they have been bullied in school. No matter the number, no child should be bullied.

To get a better picture of what bullying IS and what it ISN'T we need to define it. As much as some parents may disagree, not all rough and tumble situations are bullying. Spontaneous aggression is not bullying. An accepted description put forward by Dan Olweus in his book "Bullying at School", published by Blackwell Publishing in 1993, describes bullying as follows: "A student or pupil is being bullied or victimized when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other students."

To learn more about bullying order my book for parents entitled Bullying: A Parent's Primer. I discuss:

- the characteristics of a bully and their target
- the possible causes of bullying
- the types of bullying
- the steps a parent can take if a bully targets their child
- and the role of schools in solving bullying problems.

Also discussed is what a parent can do if their child is accused of being a bully.

Bullying: A Parent's Primer is a 19 page booklet packed with information and tips on bullying. It comes as a download in pdf format. There is no shipping cost since you download it to your computer.

The price is only $5.00

Payment can be made through Paypal to our e-mail address -- r.toews@shaw.ca There is no need to join Paypal to send funds - just click on the "Send Money" tab at the top of the page. The process is easy and secure. You can pay through your credit card.

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I received the following unsolicited comment. I have left it unedited, as I felt it carried more weight the way it was written.

Bullying is wrong, in any situation. Most bully's don't even notice their bullying someone, most think their being "cool". They never realize how many people their hurting, the vicitim, them selfs, the familys of countless bullys and the bullied, and their comunity. If you think it's the right thing to do step back and picture it being you, the one getting shoved into a locker, put in a garbage can, or you getting beat up. Some just call the police and you end up getting charged, or the person becomes affaid. You never know what is going to happen when in the situation but knowing its wrong is knowing enough. Think about your future, shure now in school you may be the cool one, being arrested after bullying the wrong person and them getting someone older and much bigger to "knock you out" and you fighting back, but a youth record isn't very cool. You get limmited jobs, some crimes go to be adult records, and being put in a juvenile detention center isn't very fun. The next time you think you are going to bully someone think about them, if you see someone being bullied tell someone, don't be the person to stand back and watch someone get picked on. Do something and not nothing, stand up for whats right, knowing you helped someone will make you feel alot better about yourself and people will notice you that way insted of getting popular by bullying get popular by standing out.

From a conserned peer, a bully that got shut down, and someone who was bullied.

The Bully is still available as an e-book. We've all been the target of a bully at some point, but in children the scars of a bully encounter can last a lifetime. Is there someone you know, or you suspect is being bullied, who could benefit from the information this e-book contains?

The Bully (free e-book)
Bullies are a growing problem in our schools and neighborhoods. The Bully addresses the issue of bullies in the school and gives helpful suggestions to both parents and children on how to deal with the stressful situation in a positive manner.

For a copy of The Bully, click the cover. (603kb)

suitable for: kindergarten - grade one - grade two - grade three

eLibrary - Open Ebooks Directory - includes most of the ebooks sold on the internet. Free for addition of one's own ebooks.

All written material and pictures copyright © 1987-2011 by Rita Toews or review contributors. All rights reserved. No material may be copied from this site without the express written consent of Rita Toews.

NOTICE: These children's stories and pictures are protected under Copyright Registration. No part or portion of this work may be used for re-sell or re-print either digitally or in print format by ANY entity other than the legal publisher of this work listed above. Re- sell or re-print of this work may not be used without the written permission of the author AND the publisher or without full monetary compensation of the work to both the author and legal publisher.

Web site by: Rita Y. Toews

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